Well thanks to a good friend (ludwig) the grestest friend and person i have encounterd in my life.
I realized that you cannot be happy unless you are happy with yourself.yeah i know DUH!! but really.You have to be completely happy with yourself,what you do and more importantly how your preceve yourself to the world and in that I found my awser.I a long time ago made a sub consciese decision to get into more "normal" intrest for the sake of being more liked and have more common intrests.I loss the core to who I am....well I finally tapped back into it ever since its like it stopped raining in my world.No im not saying that all of a sudden things are perfect But atleast I am on the road to peace.I wanted to thank Luddy for just being imself and helping me led back to who I am and lso spike for giving me a awakining of this.I realised by his recent desicions that you have to do what you have to do to be at peace in thi life.You are only given a limited amount of time and why not make the best of it.Somtimes it leaves other hurt somtimes it doesnt but you ultimatly have to move foward and I am finally after a long time im opening a new chapter.
Again thank you to the 3 people ludwig Alex cherry and spike for giving me a helping hand in the quest for peace.I wish all of you the best in your endevors.
To everyone else I hope that you too will find this road and continue on.