milleniousjade (milleniousjade) wrote,
milleniousjade
milleniousjade

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Is That The Way The World Goes Round..

Well...I must say this is the end to fantastic Weekend.I got to hung out with a few new people and had such a great time..its just what I needed honestly.
Isn't it funny that when you do good things for yourself that everything comes into perspective.I realized why that when I hung out with certain people
I just didn't feel right.I'm not saying they do it intentionally or atleast so I hope but it happends non the less.
For the first time in a while I hung out with people that didn't let me or make me feel out of place because I'm gay and not a Twink.That's been a hard struggle for me.
I have always been one to love myself but Constant rejection because not being what "most"gay men want Gay skinny white is hard.For the most part I try not to let it get me down but at the same time sometimes It makes me sad that it almost seems im being punished for what I look like.I'm proud of being 6'3 317lbs.Not all fat I work out played sports and feel great.But even if i loss every once of fat on my body I would still weigh more than most people.My bone structure is..Big.Nothing I can do about it.But why can people see past this and love me and like me and not lie?

Sometimes I wish people could step in my shoes and understand what its like to feel one in a million type person.I know I havent been the greatest in many ways but I always treat people good and with respect and try to help when possible.
It also makes me mad how people try and be sly and cover things up.
What ever happened to friendship?Im all for my friends making friends but then they forget about you...Well I decided that Im not going to feel bad and Im not going to be upset.
Fool me once shame on you Fool me twice shame on me.
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